One of my close friends recently asked me, what are you most afraid of. I didnt want to say, so I decided on the obvious answer. I’m afraid of failure…and just like I suspected our conversation went into him lecturing me about how I was playing life too safe and basically how I would live to regret it. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. Unfortunately for me he was right…
But I had lied. The truth was that I was afraid of myself. But i couldn’t say that out loud. Because even I didn’t want to admit it to myself it just seemed counter intuitive to be afraid of something that’s default and the questions that would follow, I knew I didn’t have answers.
So now its out… my secret struggle in life along with the accompanying thoughts that run through my mind all day…
Nina… You aren’t that talented
Nina…you are weird
Nina… no one takes you seriously
Nina… what’s the point
Nina… You will never survive…
Are all these fears and insecurities, i carried with me for far too long watching my idols fall victim of their own talent made it worse. I know its absurd to compare myself to Whitney and Michael, but they are my people and i always caught a glimpse of myself through them but as much as I looked up to them I couldn’t imagine making the sacrices they made just to share their gifts with the world. I could never come close to that my d of passion and yet deep down I wished I could.
Everything I am today…and I mean everything, I imagined it, I saw it, I had visions of it, and i felt it as a little girl, but I never allowed myself to fully be it until now. In the past I just had no idea what my passion for creating meant. I didn’t realise it was God speaking to me. But now that I know that i know, im on a mission to help myself and every individual on this planet who relates to my story gain more clarity on what their passions and visions really mean and to figure this out as quickly and as early as possible so that they can be confident with the choices they make and the opportunities that present themselves.
Which brings me to a question that guides my recent philosophy in life.
“Would your future self-accept you as you are now.” Till recently the answer to this question always came with uncertainty but As a write this. My answer is a definate yes
CEO & Founder Free Spirit Fashion House
Business phone: +256703881224
“Creating Life Changing Experiences Through Creativity